wow

So It's been a while since I posted last. I could go in to detail about why I haven't but I won't now, basically I was kinda ticked at the world and didn't want to share. (still not 100% ok, but getting there).

Lots has obviously happened in the last year and some months. Caleb has nearly graduated (one of my reasons to be ticked, SUU is not helping him get the diploma very well) He should have it in hand by September. He started a new real job in St. George. He works for Nifty Bites, creating and making Apps. We tried the commuting thing, but found it to be exhausting on him and our relationship. So we moved. We live in St. George now.

Becka is a crazy goon. She won't stop growing. She'll turn 3 the end of this month!! She is a mini me in looks and actions (yikes!). She is a little girly-girl, loving to paint her nails and do her hair. Which according to her, involves scissors. She cut her own hair, and with some help from Aunt MaLynda she looks adorable with a fairy pixie style.

I have had a busy year. In our last ward I was an Activity Day leader, and then C and I were also called to be in Nursery. I have had some hard times with the callings and now that I don't have them I miss them.

I have been trying to be a better friend (it was one of my goals last year) I'm not sure how I've done but, but at least I am trying. My good friends have gone though some really rough times. A couple of them lost babies. It was a hard thing to watch. I was allowed to be present at both sorrow filled events. Baby Tyrion (my friend Kayce's babe) left us a year ago yesterday. Baby Alice (Lacie's baby) has been gone just less then a year. These two little ones have left a whole in their families hearts and mine as well. I am so glad that I was blessed enough to have them touch my soul.

We have been trying to conceive a sibling for Becka for more than two years now. We had a glimmer of hope in April when I found out I was pregnant. The joy was overwhelming. But it wasn't allowed to last long. I started bleeding the next day. I lost our precious little one before I was ready to say goodbye. He has left a dark whole. I feel that I will never be a complete person without him. Hope and faith are the only things that get me though. I know that I will be able to raise my baby in the next life as my own. But my mortal self wants him here, now.

Life is hard but it doesn't stop turning. Some days life passes me, but I try to get up and continue on; trying hard not to bring anyone down with me.

So since it doesn't stop, here's to tomorrow for being a better day than yesterday.