Birth Days--Thinking of a New Start

I know that some of you, my family, do not get why I am into this natural birth 'thing'.

I am NOT pregnant but will be at some point in time.

Try to be supportive of me and my beliefs. And if you can't at least keep it to yourself.

And don't you dare say "all that matters is a healthy baby and a healthy mother." I was NOT healthy after my cesarean. I still am not 'healthy' in regards to my baby's birth. I do not feel whole, or that I am a real woman. I am doing what I can to rebuild my emotions and self worth, but it is hard and it takes time.

I found this site and it is EXACTLY how I feel. PLEASE take the time to read it and try to understand where I am coming from.

BirthCut

I will someday make a new start for myself and it WILL be wonderful!

This is a home birth that I think is just Beautiful.





Here is my Birth Story is you haven't read it yet or want to cry again.


Other sites I think you should check out:

Dr. Momma

Joyful Birth Services

Kayce's Doula Journey


If you have any questions, please, by all means, ASK me! (I'm smarter than I look) :)

Fall Fun

We have had so much fun this month.

Oct 10 We started October with the Apple Fest in New Harmony. It was a long day of picking, sorting, eating, and of course selling.

Rebecka and cousin Jayden doing a little PR for the Prince orchard.

Oct 17 We went to Kolob on a hike. The fall colors are amazing against the red rocks.
Oct 24We went to a sheep parade, but the pictures of the sheep didn't work out too well. This is of Becka on Daddy's shoulders.
Becka liked saying "aaaaaa" (that's what sheep say) (of course horses say "aaaaa" too!)



Oct 25
We had a trip to St. George to help celebrate my dad's birthday. We went a bit early to walk around the temple. It was a perfect day down there!


Becka was most excited about the rocks. (if you didn't know, rocks are her favorite toy in the world! I guess they taste good or something. :))


Oct 20 We celebrated our 3rd anniversary by staying home. We went out to dinner the night before and made a Polish dinner that night. We stayed together as a family and did nothing! It was fun having a lazy day.

Oct 27 We were invited to a friends ward party (our ward wasn't doing anything) and had a fun time. They had a bunch of games, not much candy, but Becka loved all the kids. They even had an area for a photo shoot.




Oct 29 A few nights before Halloween we carved our home grown pumpkins. The big ones are from Dad's garden. The medium ones are from ours. We had fun getting the goop out. Becka liked putting it back. :)

Oct 31 We then spent Halloween day in New Harmony doing laundry and working on Christmas gifts. I have been in a baking mood lately and made some pinwheel cookie and some popcorn balls with Becka's help.We went Trunk-or-Treating at the church in the dark. Rebecka couldn't understand why she had to keep grabbing handfuls of candy and putting it in her bag instead of her mouth, but she did really well going with the flow. She is the light of our lives! Hope your month went well.

Oh, PS. I went in for a check up on my eye. It is healing very well, (dr. was kinda impressed since I decided not to get the steroids) I can actually see things with it now. It's like I have a smug on my glasses now instead of something in the way. But I haven't had pain in weeks!

The van is all better too! Thanks for the help and support from everyone!

Monday's, YUCK!

I started the day just chillin’. I even stayed in my pj’s until 10 while playing on the Wii for an hour. I was getting good. I've got only two more levels to go platinum on. It was supposed to be a great day.

Boy was I WRONG!

I’ve had a problem with my eye over the weekend and made an appointment to have it checked. It hurt when I moved it and my vision started getting funny. It was like I put a piece of thin velum with random holes in it over my right eye. I thought it was just a tired, or maybe even a lazy, eye. At worst I thought maybe I had glaucoma, and since I caught it early it is treatable. Again I was WRONG!

The optometrist I went into see did a few test and looked at my eye for what felt like forever, but was really only about an hour. And then he delivered the worst news of my life. “You have Optic Neuritis.” And in the same breath said, “You will probably get MS. If not it could mean a stroke or even an aneurism.” Great….I was alone when I found this out, Caleb was keeping Becka busy elsewhere in the store. Surprisingly I kept it together very well. The doctor most likely thought I was dumb and didn’t understand. I was scared out of my mind. (Strangely though I really didn’t believe it, of course this was based on the fact that I received a blessing stating that I would be healed.) And what I was most scared about was the fact that I would ‘have’ to have other tests like an MRI and such which are not cheap.

Oh by the way I don’t have health insurance. DO NOT lecture me on it. I know I need it. But how can we pay for it? We live paycheck to paycheck and with the Lord’s help it is exactly enough for what we need.

Of course I went to get a second opinion; this time to an opthamologist/MD. He had to squeeze me in between surgeries so it was a looonnnggg afternoon. Caleb kept Rebecka entertained though out it. We didn’t know how long it was going to take, we were told only an hour; it turned into almost three.

However in the end it was worth it. I DO have Optic Neuritis. It DOES NOT mean I will get MS or a stroke or an aneurism. Optic neuritis is the inflammation of the optic nerve that may cause a complete or partial loss of vision. It will heal in about a month with or without corticosteroids IV. I have a follow up appointment next week but this time the doctor didn’t seem overly concerned. And he didn’t FREAK me out.

I’m as happy as a one eyed clam as I walk out to the car. I tell my hubby the news with a smile on my face, only to have him crush it under his feet. “Honey,” he says sweetly, “The van won’t start.”

So good thing for little sisters that work a block away. MaLynda’s Taxi Service came to the rescue two minutes later on her shinning, not so white, stallion, Bungee.

We got home and started getting things in order for the van. I called our insurance company while Caleb talked to our mechanic (yes we have our very own mechanic, you have to with my vehicle luck). A tow truck was due to show up in one hour and our mechanic was open to fix it tomorrow.

Now we had to rush to get Caleb to class and then I needed to find someone to watch Becka. On our way to school our friends drive by going to our place. “Quick call them!” I met them at MaLynda’s and they willingly took Becka home with them and said they would pick Caleb up at 6 and not to worry about it.

Tow truck man, Steve, came and got the van. We had a nice chat all the way to New Harmony. Come to find out he is Carolyn’s uncle. Weird. Small world! With my insurance I only had to pay for the miles after 11. And they were only $1 a mile after. So it came to $19 dollars for a tow from Cedar to New Harmony.

Uncle Lowell just happened to have a meeting up in Cedar and was just leaving for it. I hitched a ride with him and the Pearson's fed us dinner, brought us home and I promptly fell asleep after we put Becka down.

The End

P.S. All in favor of getting rid of Mondays please make it manifest.